Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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