on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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