So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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