Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
