No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
