Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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