so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
