I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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