If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
