We're like a lot better than the average bears
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
