i need an iv and a liver transplant
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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