Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
