Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
