Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
