so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
