What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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