She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize