I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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