i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
