Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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