awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
