Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Randomize
