I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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