Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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