There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
