you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
