Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
