I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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