I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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