it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
