Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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