after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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