Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
