I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
there is glitter all over my balls
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