sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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