I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
