through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
