he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I party with great urgency now.
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