im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
