Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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