So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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