All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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