No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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