I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
