very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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