Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
