Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
