Got a toothbrush?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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