Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
