you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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