Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
