I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
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Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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