i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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