so explain again why im purple
no
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
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I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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