Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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