Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
