thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
did i walk over a car last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
