and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
