Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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