Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
