listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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