I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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