I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
