Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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