we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
bring money and cleavage
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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