I just cut my nipple shaving
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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