erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
