Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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